Friday, October 25, 2013
African American Traditions
African Wedding Traditions and Customs
African American traditions can very easily be incorporated into your wedding. There are lots more African wedding traditions than just jumping the broom. You certainly don't have to feel limited to doing this one activity as the representative token of your African heritage. There are so many more that you can pick from that can just as easily, beautifully, and symbolically be integrated into your wedding ceremony.
First you will need to decide what part of your entire ceremony you want to dedicate to honoring your African wedding traditions and customs. African wedding traditions and customs can be as simple as the sharing of a symbolic food or drink or the performing of a simple yet symbolic activity. Typically, these African American wedding traditions don't necessarily need a lot of time to plan beforehand. The African wedding ceremony traditions I discuss below, though not all-inclusive, they are some of the ones that I feel are easiest to incorporate into an African-themed wedding.
Check out some of the African American traditions below and see which one(s) you feel most comfortable blending into your wedding.
African American traditions - Kola nuts are a wedding staple
Cowrie Shells - some African American brides choose to wear necklaces made out of cowrie shells, or to decorate their wedding dress with cowrie shells because cowrie shells are believed to encourage fertility. Long ago, some African tribes used cowrie shells as money, and they remain symbolic of purification, beauty, and power.
Tasting the Four Elements - one tradition that has been forgotten by many couples is calledTasting the Four Elements. The bride and groom taste foods that represent sour, bitter, hot, and sweet to represent the different times in a marriage. Usually, lemon, vinegar, cayenne pepper, and honey are used to represent these flavors. The tradition is a literal way of demonstrating the pledge to love for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.
Tying the Knot - a literal interpretation of the phrase, some African tribes tie the wrists of the bride and groom together as a symbol of the bond of marriage. Today’s couples sometimes choose to have the wedding officiant tie the wrists together using a strand of rope, kente cloth, or a strand of cowrie shells as part of the wedding ceremony.
Libation Ceremony - as part of the wedding ceremony, some African American couples choose to honor ancestors and those who have recently passed away by holding a Libation Ceremony. Holy water or alcohol is poured onto the ground as prayers are recited to ancestral spirits. This tradition is normally performed either during the wedding ceremony or afterward, at the reception. Some people, Nigerians in particular, tend to like to use Schnapps in particular for this ceremony.
Kola Nuts - in parts of Nigeria, all weddings include the sharing of a Kola nut between the bride and groom as a symbol of the couple’s willingness to care for each other throughout the marriage. Couples choose to share a Kola nut during the ceremony, and then keep a Kola nut displayed in their home after the wedding as a symbol of their promise to work out any problems that may occur. A speech is first given by an elder male member of family of either the bride or the groom, the Kola nut is cut by the youngest man in the family and then served to the men first, starting from the oldest to the youngest, and then to the women starting from the oldest to the youngest.
Adinkra symbols - as an African American bride, you may also choose to wear a gown that includes Adinkra symbols woven into the fabric or simply drawn within the wedding gown to incorporate your African history into the wedding. Adinkra symbols are used in certain Western African societies, particularly in Ghana. The symbols were adapted by the people of the Asante tribe (yes, "Asante" is the proper way of saying it, NOT "Ashanti"), and they represent different concepts. The symbols are found on fabric, walls, and on pottery. The most common symbols are Akoma, Me Ware Wo, Gye Nyame, and Osram Ne Nsoromna. Each symbol represents a different concept that is important to marriage, such as love, commitment, the love of God, and perseverance. If none of these work, there are literally over 150 Adinkra symbols to choose from.
These are just a handful of other African American traditions that you can consider using your own African-themed wedding.
Monday, October 21, 2013
History
of the Wedding Ring
By Misty Karam
Today,
the wedding ring symbolizes a promise of never-ending love, devotion, and
loyalty. In short, it is the physical representation of the wedding vows. The
history of the wedding ring, however, is not quite as romantic. Throughout
history, the wedding ring has symbolized various parts of the traditional
wedding vows, but rarely all at the same time.
Never-Ending
Circle
The
wedding band's shape represents an unbroken promise of love and commitment. The
circle has no beginning and no end; therefore, the marriage has no end. It is
believed that many past cultures shared the same beliefs about the circles.
There
is, however, another theory behind the ring's shape. Many religions consider
marriage as "half of the religion." Some historians say that the
wedding ring represents two halves coming together to form a united whole. By
completing the circle, primitive man also completed his religion.
The
Ties that Bind
The
earliest wedding rings were not placed around the finger, but around the
extremities. Since mortality rates were high and life expectancies were low,
people came to the conclusion that a person's spirit could just flow out of the
body, ending his life. They often tried interesting and superstitious
ideas to keep the spirit intact. For example, an ancient husband would wrap
twigs and grass around his new wife's ankles and wrists, believing this would
prolong her life.
Straight
to the Heart
In
ancient times, the Egyptians and the Romans shared the belief that a vein from
the fourth finger lead directly to the heart. As such, it seemed a logical
place for the placement of the wedding band.
The practice was passed down and the fourth finger is now universally known as
the ring finger. Science has since disproved that theory, but it is still
romantic to think that our wedding rings are on a direct path to our hearts.
To
Love and to Honor
Archaeologists
have found references to wedding rings among the Ancient Egyptians'
hieroglyphics. The Egyptians shaped twigs, hemp, or plant stems into circles
and placed them on their brides' ring fingers. The plant rings quickly decayed
or were broken and had to be frequenlty replaced. The circles represented
undying love, much as they do today. Apparently they did not represent
fidelity, though, as many of the Ancient Egyptians were polygamous.
To
Obey
Although
the Ancient Romans placed a ring on the fourth finger of their wives hands, the
practice had little to do with love and devotion. Rather, wives were a
possession to the Romans and the ring was a sign of ownership. Ancient Roman
women had no voice in this decision; there was no proposal. Once the women were
captured and "ringed," they were married.
To
be Faithful
Men
of the Far and Middle East had a unique way of ensuring that their brides remained
faithful. They created "puzzle rings," rings that were collapsible.
If a wife tried to remove her ring, the ring would fall apart. The ring could
be put back together, but only if one knew the correct arrangement. If the
husband had to travel for business or during wartime, the puzzle rings were
used to keep the wife true.
I
Give this Thimble
In
the early days of American colonization, the Puritan way of thinking said that
any form of adornment was wasteful and immoral. Of course, this meant there
were no rings. Instead, men gave their brides thimbles as tokens of undying
love and devotion. The resourceful brides often removed part of the thimble and
created makeshift rings.
For
Richer and Poorer
As
time went by and the rules became looser, the move towards modern rings began.
Materials for the rings have varied through the years, depending on personal
wealth and the nation's economy. Wedding rings of the past have been made of
leather, stone, aluminum, and metal. Today, wedding rings are almost always made
of gold, silver, or platinum. Some people choose alternative rings, such as
titanium or tatoos.
Husband's
Wedding Ring
Wedding
bands for men are a fairly recent innovation. Throughout history, men have been
dominant and either owned wives or lead harems. There was no need for men to be
burdened by symbols of marriage and commitment. Even after modern thinking
outlawed all forms of slavery and polygamy, the fingers of men were still
unadorned. All of that changed during World War II. During the war it became
fashionable for men to wear bands to remind them of the loving wives waiting
back home. Use of wedding rings by men increased again during the Korean War.
Today, most men wear wedding bands, regardless of military status.
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