Friday, October 25, 2013
African American Traditions
African Wedding Traditions and Customs
African American traditions can very easily be incorporated into your wedding. There are lots more African wedding traditions than just jumping the broom. You certainly don't have to feel limited to doing this one activity as the representative token of your African heritage. There are so many more that you can pick from that can just as easily, beautifully, and symbolically be integrated into your wedding ceremony.
First you will need to decide what part of your entire ceremony you want to dedicate to honoring your African wedding traditions and customs. African wedding traditions and customs can be as simple as the sharing of a symbolic food or drink or the performing of a simple yet symbolic activity. Typically, these African American wedding traditions don't necessarily need a lot of time to plan beforehand. The African wedding ceremony traditions I discuss below, though not all-inclusive, they are some of the ones that I feel are easiest to incorporate into an African-themed wedding.
Check out some of the African American traditions below and see which one(s) you feel most comfortable blending into your wedding.
African American traditions - Kola nuts are a wedding staple
Cowrie Shells - some African American brides choose to wear necklaces made out of cowrie shells, or to decorate their wedding dress with cowrie shells because cowrie shells are believed to encourage fertility. Long ago, some African tribes used cowrie shells as money, and they remain symbolic of purification, beauty, and power.
Tasting the Four Elements - one tradition that has been forgotten by many couples is calledTasting the Four Elements. The bride and groom taste foods that represent sour, bitter, hot, and sweet to represent the different times in a marriage. Usually, lemon, vinegar, cayenne pepper, and honey are used to represent these flavors. The tradition is a literal way of demonstrating the pledge to love for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.
Tying the Knot - a literal interpretation of the phrase, some African tribes tie the wrists of the bride and groom together as a symbol of the bond of marriage. Today’s couples sometimes choose to have the wedding officiant tie the wrists together using a strand of rope, kente cloth, or a strand of cowrie shells as part of the wedding ceremony.
Libation Ceremony - as part of the wedding ceremony, some African American couples choose to honor ancestors and those who have recently passed away by holding a Libation Ceremony. Holy water or alcohol is poured onto the ground as prayers are recited to ancestral spirits. This tradition is normally performed either during the wedding ceremony or afterward, at the reception. Some people, Nigerians in particular, tend to like to use Schnapps in particular for this ceremony.
Kola Nuts - in parts of Nigeria, all weddings include the sharing of a Kola nut between the bride and groom as a symbol of the couple’s willingness to care for each other throughout the marriage. Couples choose to share a Kola nut during the ceremony, and then keep a Kola nut displayed in their home after the wedding as a symbol of their promise to work out any problems that may occur. A speech is first given by an elder male member of family of either the bride or the groom, the Kola nut is cut by the youngest man in the family and then served to the men first, starting from the oldest to the youngest, and then to the women starting from the oldest to the youngest.
Adinkra symbols - as an African American bride, you may also choose to wear a gown that includes Adinkra symbols woven into the fabric or simply drawn within the wedding gown to incorporate your African history into the wedding. Adinkra symbols are used in certain Western African societies, particularly in Ghana. The symbols were adapted by the people of the Asante tribe (yes, "Asante" is the proper way of saying it, NOT "Ashanti"), and they represent different concepts. The symbols are found on fabric, walls, and on pottery. The most common symbols are Akoma, Me Ware Wo, Gye Nyame, and Osram Ne Nsoromna. Each symbol represents a different concept that is important to marriage, such as love, commitment, the love of God, and perseverance. If none of these work, there are literally over 150 Adinkra symbols to choose from.
These are just a handful of other African American traditions that you can consider using your own African-themed wedding.
Monday, October 21, 2013
History
of the Wedding Ring
By Misty Karam
Today,
the wedding ring symbolizes a promise of never-ending love, devotion, and
loyalty. In short, it is the physical representation of the wedding vows. The
history of the wedding ring, however, is not quite as romantic. Throughout
history, the wedding ring has symbolized various parts of the traditional
wedding vows, but rarely all at the same time.
Never-Ending
Circle
The
wedding band's shape represents an unbroken promise of love and commitment. The
circle has no beginning and no end; therefore, the marriage has no end. It is
believed that many past cultures shared the same beliefs about the circles.
There
is, however, another theory behind the ring's shape. Many religions consider
marriage as "half of the religion." Some historians say that the
wedding ring represents two halves coming together to form a united whole. By
completing the circle, primitive man also completed his religion.
The
Ties that Bind
The
earliest wedding rings were not placed around the finger, but around the
extremities. Since mortality rates were high and life expectancies were low,
people came to the conclusion that a person's spirit could just flow out of the
body, ending his life. They often tried interesting and superstitious
ideas to keep the spirit intact. For example, an ancient husband would wrap
twigs and grass around his new wife's ankles and wrists, believing this would
prolong her life.
Straight
to the Heart
In
ancient times, the Egyptians and the Romans shared the belief that a vein from
the fourth finger lead directly to the heart. As such, it seemed a logical
place for the placement of the wedding band.
The practice was passed down and the fourth finger is now universally known as
the ring finger. Science has since disproved that theory, but it is still
romantic to think that our wedding rings are on a direct path to our hearts.
To
Love and to Honor
Archaeologists
have found references to wedding rings among the Ancient Egyptians'
hieroglyphics. The Egyptians shaped twigs, hemp, or plant stems into circles
and placed them on their brides' ring fingers. The plant rings quickly decayed
or were broken and had to be frequenlty replaced. The circles represented
undying love, much as they do today. Apparently they did not represent
fidelity, though, as many of the Ancient Egyptians were polygamous.
To
Obey
Although
the Ancient Romans placed a ring on the fourth finger of their wives hands, the
practice had little to do with love and devotion. Rather, wives were a
possession to the Romans and the ring was a sign of ownership. Ancient Roman
women had no voice in this decision; there was no proposal. Once the women were
captured and "ringed," they were married.
To
be Faithful
Men
of the Far and Middle East had a unique way of ensuring that their brides remained
faithful. They created "puzzle rings," rings that were collapsible.
If a wife tried to remove her ring, the ring would fall apart. The ring could
be put back together, but only if one knew the correct arrangement. If the
husband had to travel for business or during wartime, the puzzle rings were
used to keep the wife true.
I
Give this Thimble
In
the early days of American colonization, the Puritan way of thinking said that
any form of adornment was wasteful and immoral. Of course, this meant there
were no rings. Instead, men gave their brides thimbles as tokens of undying
love and devotion. The resourceful brides often removed part of the thimble and
created makeshift rings.
For
Richer and Poorer
As
time went by and the rules became looser, the move towards modern rings began.
Materials for the rings have varied through the years, depending on personal
wealth and the nation's economy. Wedding rings of the past have been made of
leather, stone, aluminum, and metal. Today, wedding rings are almost always made
of gold, silver, or platinum. Some people choose alternative rings, such as
titanium or tatoos.
Husband's
Wedding Ring
Wedding
bands for men are a fairly recent innovation. Throughout history, men have been
dominant and either owned wives or lead harems. There was no need for men to be
burdened by symbols of marriage and commitment. Even after modern thinking
outlawed all forms of slavery and polygamy, the fingers of men were still
unadorned. All of that changed during World War II. During the war it became
fashionable for men to wear bands to remind them of the loving wives waiting
back home. Use of wedding rings by men increased again during the Korean War.
Today, most men wear wedding bands, regardless of military status.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Your fiancé will be more than happy to help with this great trick.
The joy of planning a wedding is something that a girl dreams about as soon as they are big enough to make toilet paper veils. But I’d challenge any guy to raise their hand and admit they’ve been dreaming about their wedding day! I’m pretty sure a groom’s not spending his days dreaming about the color of his tuxedo, or whether he’ll wear a tie or bow tie.
Even when guys do finally take the plunge, offering up a ring to the one they love, they are rarely the one stressing about wedding details. Menu selection, venue, color schemes, decorations, music, a cake designer, a wedding planner, showers, or any of the other details that go into planning that “dream wedding – that’s firmly in the hands of the bride to be.
This planning burden, coupled with “sure honey, whatever you want dear” responses from the groom can add to a bride’s stress level. Many brides get annoyed and frustrated trying to get their fiancé to participate in the wedding plans, without feeling like they are pulling teeth.
But stress no more. We have come up with a great solution that will help you get your future husband involved with the wedding try using: TheWeddingRegistry.me universal gift registry.
Typically when you go to register for wedding gifts you are stuck at those typical big box retailers such as The Bay and Home outfitters for the typical wedding gifts like kitchen appliances and bedding. Most grooms would rather have their back teeth removed than head off on a gift shopping excursion and meeting with a bridal registry consultant.
Inquire at your favorite store if they have a universal gift registry it is something completely different from the typical. It allows you and your groom to register for any item, from any store anywhere, by using your smart phone to swipe a product’s bar code. If shopping on line, you can use our handy tool bar button to add items to your list from various web sites. This allows you to add virtually any gift you can imagine to your registry.
So if your guy wants to add new flat screen TV, accessories for his Harley, or a new snowblower, he can, simply with a swipe of his smartphone.
Another great feature that your future husband will love is our cash gift registry. They can allocate a dollar amount to specific goals and items that they are saving for, e.g new golf clubs, fishing trip, theatre room renovations, anything they truly want and collect the funds directly from your wedding website!
We’re pretty sure we’ve come up with a sure fire way to finally get your future husband involved at last. What do you think?
Knowing how to budget for a wedding keeps spending on track. A
beautiful, romantic wedding will come off as sleek as the blue garter on the
bride’s leg with a solid budget and careful planning. Begin with an initial
planning stage, create a wish list, pare it down, and finally develop a budget.
Couples who come up with a realistic budget and stay within the parameters they
set come out on the other side free of stress and with wonderful memories of
their wedding. Staying focused on a budget helps eliminate impulsive buying
that can throw a bank account into a downward spiral. Take the necessary steps
to learn how to budget for a wedding and revel in the celebration of love
without worrying about the cost the day after.
Initial Planning
The initial planning begins the process of figuring out how much
a dream wedding may cost. The couple must sit down together and begin creating
a strategy of how to budget for their wedding. Do not think in details during
the discussion. The details will come together later. Think in numbers while
discussing the elements of the ceremony and reception. A formal wedding tends
to cost more than an informal one. Estimate the number of guests that may be
invited and keep that number in mind when considering all aspects of a
reception. A sit-down dinner for 50 people may be feasible but a sit-down
dinner complete with servers for 500 may prove to be
too expensive. Create a color palette during your planning. Although color may
not seem important now, purchasing white roses rather than red ones may break
the budget. Always keep in mind the budget for a wedding while covering each
suggested topic.
The theme or style of the wedding often dictates whether it will
be formal or informal. A wedding with the gentlemen attired in tails and the
ladies in Victorian inspired dresses complete with bustles inside a cathedral
says formal. A garden wedding with bridesmaids wearing street-length cotton
sundresses gives an informal air to the celebration.
Below are some questions and points to ponder, that may save you
money:
-Discuss the color palette. Color may have less impact on the
cost, but it’s a good idea to think of color when it comes to flowers.
-Where would you like the wedding ceremony to be held? Will the
reception be in a different location than the ceremony?
-The clothing is an important point of discussion and comprises
a fair amount of the budget depending on the style of wedding you choose.
-How many guests would you like to invite? Will the wedding be
large with family, friends, and acquaintances or a small intimate gathering of
just family? A rough estimate at this point will help keep numbers in mind as
the planning continues.
-Share ideas on the reception. The reception as a whole takes
the lion’s share of the budget. Again, the food served may depend on the style
of the wedding and whether it’s formal or informal.
-Don’t forget to include the wedding cake and groom’s cake, if
you choose to have one, under the food heading.
-Music lends a very personal note to a wedding. Discuss the
music for the ceremony and music for the reception.
-The photography will capture your wedding in pictures or a
video and can be pricey, but capturing the special day forever remains toward
the top of the priority list.
-Wedding rings or bands should be a part of the discussion
unless they’ve all ready been purchased.
-Toss around the idea of a honeymoon at this point.
Discuss these major points, jot down ideas, and then move on to
the next step to continue the process of budgeting for the wedding.
Wish List
Every little girl dreams of being a princess on her special day.
Making the dream come true requires careful planning and knowing how to budget
a wedding. Use the list under initial planning as a guide and jot down every
little thing that captures the imagination. Leave out no detail. If releasing
doves from a gilded cage is part of the dream wedding scenario, then write it
down. It’s important to list everything from gifts for attendants to the white
silk and lace lingerie to wear beneath the elegant white gown. Use the list for
discussion to make sure each aspect of the wedding is covered. Take your time
with the wish list and add more as wedding desires come to light. Once you
complete this step you’re ready to move on to the next.
Paring It Down
Reality must prevail after dreaming and wish list making. It’s
doubtful that every thing from the wish list will make it to the special day,
but making as many dream-wedding wishes part of the celebration as possible
will keep the celebration unique. Take a hard look at the wish list and
prioritize it. Choose the most important aspect of the wedding day and place it
at the top with a number one. If the most important element of the wedding is
walking down the aisle in a Vera Wang gown, place it at number one, but
remember something else might have to go. Continue prioritizing the wish list
until every item has been designated and assigned a number of importance.
You’ll return to this list later, but now it’s time to get nitty-gritty and
down to business.
Create the Budget
Before the wedding budget begins to take shape take account of
available funds. What funds are available for the cost of the wedding? The
website, Bridalassociation.com, projects in the Wedding Report the average cost
of a wedding in 2007 to be over $28,000 with 77% of brides and grooms paying
for the wedding themselves. The bride and groom should look at their savings
accounts to see how much they have to get started with. If the wedding won’t be
for a year or so, consider putting money into a CD (certificate of deposit) to
help save for the big day. Parents often help out couples with wedding
expenses. Be gracious when approaching parents to ask if they would be able to
assist with the cost of the wedding. Consider selling a couple stocks or mutual
funds to help defray the costs. Depending on the size of the savings account
downsizing may be an alternative to finding more money. - See more at:
The time has come to get out the spreadsheet program and sharpen
the pencil. Create a budget for a wedding by listing all possible expenses
under headings. Assign each heading an approximate percentage of the pot. The
reception usually grabs up the largest chunk of the overall budget. Knowing the
number of invited guests gives a more accurate price tag for the reception.
Assign a larger percentage of the budget for the more important elements. An
example: If the most important aspect of the wedding is wearing a beautiful
designer gown, allow for a greater percentage of the overall budget for the
gown. Use the following headings as a guide and then assign percentages to each
group according to importance and what the wedding budget will allow.
Ceremony – include the place of the ceremony, the fee for the
official, and the marriage license.
Clothing – account for the wedding gown, veil, shoes, lingerie,
hair, make-up, and jewelry for the bride also the groom’s tuxedo or suit,
shoes, and haircut
Wedding rings
Flowers – the bride’s bouquet, attendants’ flowers, flower
girl’s basket, boutonnieres, corsages, centerpieces, and any other flowers to
grace the church, hall, or reception venue
Music – include music for the ceremony and if you’re hiring a DJ
or dance band for the reception
Photography – the cost of the photographer and the purchase of
photos must all be taken into consideration along with disposable cameras for
guests to use
Reception – budget for the venue, the food, the caterer, drinks
and bar service, wedding cake, groom’s cake, favors or gifts for guests, and
any decorating items beyond flowers like rentals
Transportation – transportation for wedding party and parking
attendants
Stationery – invitations, name cards, guest book, calligraphy,
and thank you notes fall under this heading
Odds and Ends – This is a catch all heading that can break a
budget if not planned within the budget. Put the wedding planner and any tips
in this category. Items like bird seed to toss or bubbles to blow, the small
boxes tied with ribbon to use for the groom’s cake, gifts for attendants,
welcome baskets for out of town guests, and the doves in the gilded cage should
be accounted for.
Honeymoon – whether you include the honeymoon in the wedding
budget or as a separate big ticket item, it should be accounted for in some
way.
As the count down to the wedding day proceeds keep track in the
spreadsheet of every item purchased and how much it costs. Keep a running total
of each heading and the overall amount that’s been spent. Stay aware of what’s
been spent and what needs to be purchased. Staying on top of expenditures keeps
the couple grounded and less likely to buy on impulse. Try to pay for all
expenses prior to the wedding and keep all receipts in case of a dispute.
A wedding is a big deal and for many people the biggest party
they’ll ever throw. A day marred with stress from overspending and unexpected
costs can be avoided by learning how to budget for a wedding. Through planning,
listing, and budgeting a dream wedding can become a reality, but unless the
budget is adhered to throughout the entire planning it will not work. The
choice is up to the couple to start a life together that is stressful from an
overdrawn bank account or walk away from the day with grand memories of a
wedding paid for in full thanks to creating and sticking to a budget.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
This week sees the USA release of the much
anticipated film The Great Gatsby. Director Baz Luhrman is famous for
his big visuals and contemporary sound track - with films like Romeo and
Juliet and Moulin Rouge. His film style is notoriously influential
on the wedding scene, and The Great Gatsby will be no different...
At The White House Wedding Favors we’ve been
dreaming about how this gorgeous, decadent film could inspire this year’s
weddings.
It's definitely a vintage scene! Gatsby has all the glitz, glamour and romance
you’d want for a roaring 1920’s theme. Glittery metallics, art deco patterns
and dark corners. And imagine your wedding cake sprayed
in gold?
Flapper style bridesmaids dresses and lace
hair-pieces would look gorgeous against a ballroom backdrop.
Fireworks and sparklers are a must have for
your send-off - a magical end to a beautiful night.
Vintage theme weddings have been a staple for
wedding scenes for a few years now, but the 1920's Gatsby style will bring both elegance and
decadence to Twenties-inspired weddings. It’s lavish and yet playful and fun -
so we say long live Gatsby!
It can seem like quite a daunting prospect - what do you want your wedding to look like and feel like? With so many blog-worthy weddings on the web, how do you know what style to go for? Some brides will have known what they wanted since they were pretending to be little women walking around in their mother's heels with a towel on their head, but for others the pressure is on to find the perfect theme.
The most important thing about your big day is that it’s personal, and it’s about you as a couple. Don't jump straight into pretending to know what someone else might have done, instead start by thinking about what's really important to them.
Think about what it was that brought you two together. Did you meet at a coffee shop? Did you both bond immediately while working out on he stairmaster? Was your first date somewhere special?
Another great place to start is to look to your favourites - book, film, music, places. There will always be something to take inspiration from, and it feels more important and personal than just picking any old theme.
Maybe an Eiffel Tower proposal could turn into a full-on Parisian wedding soiree, a shared love of books could lead to a literary themed day, or two sports fanatics can enjoy a fun, sporty outdoor wedding.
A wedding theme doesn’t have to be overpowering, however, it can be brought out in the details.
If you're really stuck, pick your favourite colours! All that matters is that it feels special to you, and that you’ve put your brand on your big day.
Think about what it was that brought you two together. Did you meet at a coffee shop? Did you both bond immediately while working out on he stairmaster? Was your first date somewhere special?
Another great place to start is to look to your favourites - book, film, music, places. There will always be something to take inspiration from, and it feels more important and personal than just picking any old theme.
Maybe an Eiffel Tower proposal could turn into a full-on Parisian wedding soiree, a shared love of books could lead to a literary themed day, or two sports fanatics can enjoy a fun, sporty outdoor wedding.
A wedding theme doesn’t have to be overpowering, however, it can be brought out in the details.
If you're really stuck, pick your favourite colours! All that matters is that it feels special to you, and that you’ve put your brand on your big day.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
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