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Friday, October 25, 2013

African American Traditions

African Wedding Traditions and Customs

African American traditions can very easily be incorporated into your wedding. There are lots more African wedding traditions than just jumping the broom. You certainly don't have to feel limited to doing this one activity as the representative token of your African heritage. There are so many more that you can pick from that can just as easily, beautifully, and symbolically be integrated into your wedding ceremony.
First you will need to decide what part of your entire ceremony you want to dedicate to honoring your African wedding traditions and customs. African wedding traditions and customs can be as simple as the sharing of a symbolic food or drink or the performing of a simple yet symbolic activity. Typically, these African American wedding traditions don't necessarily need a lot of time to plan beforehand. The African wedding ceremony traditions I discuss below, though not all-inclusive, they are some of the ones that I feel are easiest to incorporate into an African-themed wedding.
Check out some of the African American traditions below and see which one(s) you feel most comfortable blending into your wedding.
african american traditions, wedding traditions and customs, wedding ceremony traditions
African American traditions - Kola nuts are a wedding staple 
Cowrie Shells - some African American brides choose to wear necklaces made out of cowrie shells, or to decorate their wedding dress with cowrie shells because cowrie shells are believed to encourage fertility. Long ago, some African tribes used cowrie shells as money, and they remain symbolic of purification, beauty, and power.
Tasting the Four Elements - one tradition that has been forgotten by many couples is calledTasting the Four Elements. The bride and groom taste foods that represent sour, bitter, hot, and sweet to represent the different times in a marriage. Usually, lemon, vinegar, cayenne pepper, and honey are used to represent these flavors. The tradition is a literal way of demonstrating the pledge to love for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.
Tying the Knot - a literal interpretation of the phrase, some African tribes tie the wrists of the bride and groom together as a symbol of the bond of marriage. Today’s couples sometimes choose to have the wedding officiant tie the wrists together using a strand of rope, kente cloth, or a strand of cowrie shells as part of the wedding ceremony.
Libation Ceremony - as part of the wedding ceremony, some African American couples choose to honor ancestors and those who have recently passed away by holding a Libation Ceremony. Holy water or alcohol is poured onto the ground as prayers are recited to ancestral spirits. This tradition is normally performed either during the wedding ceremony or afterward, at the reception. Some people, Nigerians in particular, tend to like to use Schnapps in particular for this ceremony.
Kola Nuts - in parts of Nigeria, all weddings include the sharing of a Kola nut between the bride and groom as a symbol of the couple’s willingness to care for each other throughout the marriage. Couples choose to share a Kola nut during the ceremony, and then keep a Kola nut displayed in their home after the wedding as a symbol of their promise to work out any problems that may occur. A speech is first given by an elder male member of family of either the bride or the groom, the Kola nut is cut by the youngest man in the family and then served to the men first, starting from the oldest to the youngest, and then to the women starting from the oldest to the youngest.
Adinkra symbols - as an African American bride, you may also choose to wear a gown that includes Adinkra symbols woven into the fabric or simply drawn within the wedding gown to incorporate your African history into the wedding. Adinkra symbols are used in certain Western African societies, particularly in Ghana. The symbols were adapted by the people of the Asante tribe (yes, "Asante" is the proper way of saying it, NOT "Ashanti"), and they represent different concepts. The symbols are found on fabric, walls, and on pottery. The most common symbols are Akoma, Me Ware Wo, Gye Nyame, and Osram Ne Nsoromna. Each symbol represents a different concept that is important to marriage, such as love, commitment, the love of God, and perseverance. If none of these work, there are literally over 150 Adinkra symbols to choose from.
These are just a handful of other African American traditions that you can consider using your own African-themed wedding.

Monday, October 21, 2013

History of the Wedding Ring

By Misty Karam

Today, the wedding ring symbolizes a promise of never-ending love, devotion, and loyalty. In short, it is the physical representation of the wedding vows. The history of the wedding ring, however, is not quite as romantic. Throughout history, the wedding ring has symbolized various parts of the traditional wedding vows, but rarely all at the same time.

Never-Ending Circle
The wedding band's shape represents an unbroken promise of love and commitment. The circle has no beginning and no end; therefore, the marriage has no end. It is believed that many past cultures shared the same beliefs about the circles.
There is, however, another theory behind the ring's shape. Many religions consider marriage as "half of the religion." Some historians say that the wedding ring represents two halves coming together to form a united whole. By completing the circle, primitive man also completed his religion.
The Ties that Bind
The earliest wedding rings were not placed around the finger, but around the extremities. Since mortality rates were high and life expectancies were low, people came to the conclusion that a person's spirit could just flow out of the body, ending his life. They often tried interesting and superstitious ideas to keep the spirit intact. For example, an ancient husband would wrap twigs and grass around his new wife's ankles and wrists, believing this would prolong her life.
Straight to the Heart
In ancient times, the Egyptians and the Romans shared the belief that a vein from the fourth finger lead directly to the heart. As such, it seemed a logical place for the placement of the wedding band. The practice was passed down and the fourth finger is now universally known as the ring finger. Science has since disproved that theory, but it is still romantic to think that our wedding rings are on a direct path to our hearts.
To Love and to Honor
 Archaeologists have found references to wedding rings among the Ancient Egyptians' hieroglyphics. The Egyptians shaped twigs, hemp, or plant stems into circles and placed them on their brides' ring fingers. The plant rings quickly decayed or were broken and had to be frequenlty replaced. The circles represented undying love, much as they do today. Apparently they did not represent fidelity, though, as many of the Ancient Egyptians were polygamous.

To Obey

Although the Ancient Romans placed a ring on the fourth finger of their wives hands, the practice had little to do with love and devotion. Rather, wives were a possession to the Romans and the ring was a sign of ownership. Ancient Roman women had no voice in this decision; there was no proposal. Once the women were captured and "ringed," they were married.
To be Faithful
Men of the Far and Middle East had a unique way of ensuring that their brides remained faithful. They created "puzzle rings," rings that were collapsible. If a wife tried to remove her ring, the ring would fall apart. The ring could be put back together, but only if one knew the correct arrangement. If the husband had to travel for business or during wartime, the puzzle rings were used to keep the wife true.
I Give this Thimble
In the early days of American colonization, the Puritan way of thinking said that any form of adornment was wasteful and immoral. Of course, this meant there were no rings. Instead, men gave their brides thimbles as tokens of undying love and devotion. The resourceful brides often removed part of the thimble and created makeshift rings.
For Richer and Poorer
As time went by and the rules became looser, the move towards modern rings began. Materials for the rings have varied through the years, depending on personal wealth and the nation's economy. Wedding rings of the past have been made of leather, stone, aluminum, and metal. Today, wedding rings are almost always made of gold, silver, or platinum. Some people choose alternative rings, such as titanium or tatoos.
Husband's Wedding Ring
Wedding bands for men are a fairly recent innovation. Throughout history, men have been dominant and either owned wives or lead harems. There was no need for men to be burdened by symbols of marriage and commitment. Even after modern thinking outlawed all forms of slavery and polygamy, the fingers of men were still unadorned. All of that changed during World War II. During the war it became fashionable for men to wear bands to remind them of the loving wives waiting back home. Use of wedding rings by men increased again during the Korean War. Today, most men wear wedding bands, regardless of military status.
Friday, September 6, 2013

Your fiancé will be more than happy to help with this great trick. 
The joy of planning a wedding is something that a girl dreams about as soon as they are big enough to make toilet paper veils.  But I’d challenge any guy to raise their hand and admit they’ve been dreaming about their wedding day!  I’m pretty sure a groom’s not spending his days dreaming about the color of his tuxedo, or whether he’ll wear a tie or bow tie.

Even when guys do finally take the plunge, offering up a ring to the one they love, they are rarely the one stressing about wedding details.  Menu selection, venue, color schemes, decorations, music, a cake designer, a wedding planner, showers, or any of the other details that go into planning that “dream wedding – that’s firmly in the hands of the bride to be.

This planning burden, coupled with “sure honey, whatever you want dear” responses from the groom can add to a bride’s stress level.  Many brides get annoyed and frustrated trying to get their fiancé to participate in the wedding plans, without feeling like they are pulling teeth.

But stress no more. We have come up with a great solution that will help you get your future husband involved with the wedding try using: TheWeddingRegistry.me universal gift registry.

Typically when you go to register for wedding gifts you are stuck at those typical big box retailers such as The Bay and Home outfitters for the typical wedding gifts like kitchen appliances and bedding. Most grooms would rather have their back teeth removed than head off on a gift shopping excursion and meeting with a bridal registry consultant.

Inquire at your favorite store if they have a universal gift registry it is something completely different from the typical. It allows you and your groom to register for any item, from any store anywhere, by using your smart phone to swipe a product’s bar code.  If shopping on line, you can use our handy tool bar button to add items to your list from various web sites.  This allows you to add virtually any gift you can imagine to your registry.

So if your guy wants to add new flat screen TV, accessories for his Harley, or a new snowblower, he can, simply with a swipe of his smartphone.

Another great feature that your future husband will love is our cash gift registry. They can allocate a dollar amount to specific goals and items that they are saving for, e.g new golf clubs, fishing trip, theatre room renovations,  anything they truly want and collect the funds directly from your wedding website!

We’re pretty sure we’ve come up with a sure fire way to finally get your future husband involved at last. What do you think?

Knowing how to budget for a wedding keeps spending on track. A beautiful, romantic wedding will come off as sleek as the blue garter on the bride’s leg with a solid budget and careful planning. Begin with an initial planning stage, create a wish list, pare it down, and finally develop a budget. Couples who come up with a realistic budget and stay within the parameters they set come out on the other side free of stress and with wonderful memories of their wedding. Staying focused on a budget helps eliminate impulsive buying that can throw a bank account into a downward spiral. Take the necessary steps to learn how to budget for a wedding and revel in the celebration of love without worrying about the cost the day after.

Initial Planning
The initial planning begins the process of figuring out how much a dream wedding may cost. The couple must sit down together and begin creating a strategy of how to budget for their wedding. Do not think in details during the discussion. The details will come together later. Think in numbers while discussing the elements of the ceremony and reception. A formal wedding tends to cost more than an informal one. Estimate the number of guests that may be invited and keep that number in mind when considering all aspects of a reception. A sit-down dinner for 50 people may be feasible but a sit-down dinner complete with servers for 500 may prove to be too expensive. Create a color palette during your planning. Although color may not seem important now, purchasing white roses rather than red ones may break the budget. Always keep in mind the budget for a wedding while covering each suggested topic. 

The theme or style of the wedding often dictates whether it will be formal or informal. A wedding with the gentlemen attired in tails and the ladies in Victorian inspired dresses complete with bustles inside a cathedral says formal. A garden wedding with bridesmaids wearing street-length cotton sundresses gives an informal air to the celebration.

Below are some questions and points to ponder, that may save you money:

-Discuss the color palette. Color may have less impact on the cost, but it’s a good idea to think of color when it comes to flowers.

-Where would you like the wedding ceremony to be held? Will the reception be in a different location than the ceremony?

-The clothing is an important point of discussion and comprises a fair amount of the budget depending on the style of wedding you choose.

-How many guests would you like to invite? Will the wedding be large with family, friends, and acquaintances or a small intimate gathering of just family? A rough estimate at this point will help keep numbers in mind as the planning continues.

-Share ideas on the reception. The reception as a whole takes the lion’s share of the budget. Again, the food served may depend on the style of the wedding and whether it’s formal or informal.

-Don’t forget to include the wedding cake and groom’s cake, if you choose to have one, under the food heading.

-Music lends a very personal note to a wedding. Discuss the music for the ceremony and music for the reception. 


-The photography will capture your wedding in pictures or a video and can be pricey, but capturing the special day forever remains toward the top of the priority list.

-Wedding rings or bands should be a part of the discussion unless they’ve all ready been purchased.

-Toss around the idea of a honeymoon at this point.

Discuss these major points, jot down ideas, and then move on to the next step to continue the process of budgeting for the wedding.

Wish List
Every little girl dreams of being a princess on her special day. Making the dream come true requires careful planning and knowing how to budget a wedding. Use the list under initial planning as a guide and jot down every little thing that captures the imagination. Leave out no detail. If releasing doves from a gilded cage is part of the dream wedding scenario, then write it down. It’s important to list everything from gifts for attendants to the white silk and lace lingerie to wear beneath the elegant white gown. Use the list for discussion to make sure each aspect of the wedding is covered. Take your time with the wish list and add more as wedding desires come to light. Once you complete this step you’re ready to move on to the next.


Paring It Down
Reality must prevail after dreaming and wish list making. It’s doubtful that every thing from the wish list will make it to the special day, but making as many dream-wedding wishes part of the celebration as possible will keep the celebration unique. Take a hard look at the wish list and prioritize it. Choose the most important aspect of the wedding day and place it at the top with a number one. If the most important element of the wedding is walking down the aisle in a Vera Wang gown, place it at number one, but remember something else might have to go. Continue prioritizing the wish list until every item has been designated and assigned a number of importance. You’ll return to this list later, but now it’s time to get nitty-gritty and down to business.

Create the Budget
Before the wedding budget begins to take shape take account of available funds. What funds are available for the cost of the wedding? The website, Bridalassociation.com, projects in the Wedding Report the average cost of a wedding in 2007 to be over $28,000 with 77% of brides and grooms paying for the wedding themselves. The bride and groom should look at their savings accounts to see how much they have to get started with. If the wedding won’t be for a year or so, consider putting money into a CD (certificate of deposit) to help save for the big day. Parents often help out couples with wedding expenses. Be gracious when approaching parents to ask if they would be able to assist with the cost of the wedding. Consider selling a couple stocks or mutual funds to help defray the costs. Depending on the size of the savings account downsizing may be an alternative to finding more money. - See more at: 


The time has come to get out the spreadsheet program and sharpen the pencil. Create a budget for a wedding by listing all possible expenses under headings. Assign each heading an approximate percentage of the pot. The reception usually grabs up the largest chunk of the overall budget. Knowing the number of invited guests gives a more accurate price tag for the reception. Assign a larger percentage of the budget for the more important elements. An example: If the most important aspect of the wedding is wearing a beautiful designer gown, allow for a greater percentage of the overall budget for the gown. Use the following headings as a guide and then assign percentages to each group according to importance and what the wedding budget will allow.

Ceremony – include the place of the ceremony, the fee for the official, and the marriage license.

Clothing – account for the wedding gown, veil, shoes, lingerie, hair, make-up, and jewelry for the bride also the groom’s tuxedo or suit, shoes, and haircut

Wedding rings

Flowers – the bride’s bouquet, attendants’ flowers, flower girl’s basket, boutonnieres, corsages, centerpieces, and any other flowers to grace the church, hall, or reception venue

Music – include music for the ceremony and if you’re hiring a DJ or dance band for the reception

Photography – the cost of the photographer and the purchase of photos must all be taken into consideration along with disposable cameras for guests to use

Reception – budget for the venue, the food, the caterer, drinks and bar service, wedding cake, groom’s cake, favors or gifts for guests, and any decorating items beyond flowers like rentals

Transportation – transportation for wedding party and parking attendants

Stationery – invitations, name cards, guest book, calligraphy, and thank you notes fall under this heading

Odds and Ends – This is a catch all heading that can break a budget if not planned within the budget. Put the wedding planner and any tips in this category. Items like bird seed to toss or bubbles to blow, the small boxes tied with ribbon to use for the groom’s cake, gifts for attendants, welcome baskets for out of town guests, and the doves in the gilded cage should be accounted for.

Honeymoon – whether you include the honeymoon in the wedding budget or as a separate big ticket item, it should be accounted for in some way.

As the count down to the wedding day proceeds keep track in the spreadsheet of every item purchased and how much it costs. Keep a running total of each heading and the overall amount that’s been spent. Stay aware of what’s been spent and what needs to be purchased. Staying on top of expenditures keeps the couple grounded and less likely to buy on impulse. Try to pay for all expenses prior to the wedding and keep all receipts in case of a dispute.


A wedding is a big deal and for many people the biggest party they’ll ever throw. A day marred with stress from overspending and unexpected costs can be avoided by learning how to budget for a wedding. Through planning, listing, and budgeting a dream wedding can become a reality, but unless the budget is adhered to throughout the entire planning it will not work. The choice is up to the couple to start a life together that is stressful from an overdrawn bank account or walk away from the day with grand memories of a wedding paid for in full thanks to creating and sticking to a budget. 
Sunday, May 19, 2013

This week sees the USA release of the much anticipated film The Great Gatsby. Director Baz Luhrman is famous for his big visuals and contemporary sound track - with films like Romeo and Juliet and Moulin Rouge. His film style is notoriously influential on the wedding scene, and The Great Gatsby will be no different...

At The White House Wedding Favors we’ve been dreaming about how this gorgeous, decadent film could inspire this year’s weddings.

It's definitely a vintage scene! Gatsby has all the glitz, glamour and romance you’d want for a roaring 1920’s theme. Glittery metallics, art deco patterns and dark corners. And imagine your wedding cake  sprayed in gold?
Flapper style bridesmaids dresses and lace hair-pieces would look gorgeous against a ballroom backdrop.

Fireworks and sparklers are a must have for your send-off - a magical end to a beautiful night.

Vintage theme weddings have been a staple for wedding scenes for a few years now, but the 1920's Gatsby style will bring both elegance and decadence to Twenties-inspired weddings. It’s lavish and yet playful and fun - so we say long live Gatsby!

 
It can seem like quite a daunting prospect - what do you want your wedding to look like and feel like? With so many blog-worthy weddings on the web, how do you know what style to go for? Some brides will have known what they wanted since they were pretending to be little women walking around in their mother's heels with a towel on their head, but for others the pressure is on to find the perfect theme.
The most important thing about your big day is that it’s personal, and it’s about you as a couple. Don't jump straight into pretending to know what someone else might have done, instead start by thinking about what's really important to them.
Think about what it was that brought you two together. Did you meet at a coffee shop? Did you both bond immediately while working out on he stairmaster? Was your first date somewhere special?
Another great place to start is to look to your favourites - book, film, music, places. There will always be something to take inspiration from, and it feels more important and personal than just picking any old theme.
Maybe an Eiffel Tower proposal could turn into a full-on Parisian wedding soiree, a shared love of books could lead to a literary themed day, or two sports fanatics can enjoy a fun, sporty outdoor wedding.

A wedding theme doesn’t have to be overpowering, however, it can be brought out in the details.
If you're really stuck, pick your favourite colours! All that matters is that it feels special to you, and that you’ve put your brand on your big day.
 
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
The Hispanic culture is rich with traditions that can add depth and special meaning to your wedding day. Be sure to explain the symbolism of the Latino traditions and customs used in your wedding. Your non-Latino guests will be charmed and informed and your Latino guests will be proud that you are celebrating your heritage.
Ceremony
Traditionally, a Hispanic wedding or Matrimonio is deeply spiritual and involves a full mass in a Roman Catholic Church. The Novia (bride) and Novio (groom) and their attendants stand or kneel at the Church’s alter. Prayers are said for the couple as they begin their life together.  
Madrinas Y Padrinos
In Mexico, sponsors called padrinos act as mentors to the couple throughout the engagement and marriage. They are usually people who have played an important role in the lives of the bride and groom. The Padrinos help the bride and groom pay for the wedding. In addition to agreeing to pay for different aspects of the wedding, they also take part of the church services. For example, they may put the lazo around the couple during the ceremony or present the couple with the madrina de arras.
El Lazo
As part of the ceremony to symbolize unity, an extra-long strand of rosary beads or Lazo is placed in a figure eight shape around the necks of the couple after they have exchanged their vows. The symbolism of the lazo is to show the union and protection of marriage. Often, specific members of the wedding party are responsible for "lassoing" the Bride and Groom together after they kneel for the wedding prayer. Sometimes a white satin cord or rope is draped around the shoulders of the Bride and groom. Tradition requires the couple to wear the lasso for the remainder of the service. This act is symbolic of their love, which should bind the couple together everyday as they equally share the responsibility of marriage for the rest of their lives. 
Las Arras
This wedding custom originated in Spain and consists of the groom giving the bride thirteen gold coins or arras to represent his commitment to support her. In Spain, thirteen represent Christ and his twelve apostles. The symbolism is often explained by the officiant that the Groom pledges his ability to support and care for his bride. The arras and the madrina de arras, an ornate box or gift tray that holds the coins often become a part of the family heirloom. 
Reception
The Latino wedding reception is family oriented and festive. For the bridal couple's first dance, guests will gather in a heart-shaped ring at the reception around the couple. Salsa, merengue, mambo, flamenco, and samba music add a festive Latin flare to the reception. For appetizers, try pasteles, Puerto Rican meat patties, or empanadas, Colombian pastries stuffed with meat and vegetables. Spanish tapas make perfect appetizers. Other must-have dishes include rice and beans, paella, arroz con pollo or chicken with rice, and fried plantains.
In Puerto Rico, a doll dressed in a replica of the bridal gown, is placed on the head table at the reception. It might also be placed on the cake table. Little mementos or favors, called capias are attached to the doll. During the reception, the bride and groom will walk to each person pin a capia on them and thank them for their presence at the wedding. The capias have the couple’s names and wedding date inscribed on them.
The Mexican wedding cake is usually a fruit cake that has been soaked in rum. Also served are Pastelitos De Boda.  These are delicous Mexican cookies made of sugar and nuts.  During Cuban wedding receptions, wedding guests partake in the traditional money dance, where each man who dances with the new bride must pin money to her dress, to help the newlyweds with their honeymoon expenses. 
Wedding Attire
Latina brides have a wide variety of options for their vestido de novia or wedding dress. In Mexico, the bride might don a brightly colored, Flamenco-style dress with ruffles at the hem. While some brides chose a traditional wedding dress, in Spain, brides wear a black gown to symbolize their devotion till death. Also popular in Spain is the mantilla veil. The triangular veil with beautiful lace edging can be worn for a subtle Latin feel. The groom may choose to wear a guayabera, a light, short-sleeved shirt perfect for tropical temperatures.